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By Amy Rose Spiegel One of the most frequent Just Wondering questions we get here at Rookie is some variation on the following: “I’m a teenager and I’m thinking about dating/am intensely attracted to a person who’s significantly older than me. ” Well, as someone who not only has always been interested in older dudes, but has also dated quite a few of them, I have some things to say about your situation, question-askers.

When I was 15, I was dating a 28-year-old (cue gasping).

“They may offer vague advice such as, ’Take care of yourself,’ instead of addressing specific issues.

Specific conversations can be uncomfortable, but they help convey a clearer message.” Scott suggests asking your child if any of his or her friends are dating, and if they are, she recommends asking about those relationships. How can you tell if someone is showing you the respect you deserve? • Your partner forces you to have sex against your will.

“Ask your daughter what qualities she is looking for in a dating partner,” she says. ” The darker side of dating, regardless of age, is being in an abusive relationship. • Much of your time together is consumed by apologies, promises, guilt and anger.

The Jersey Battered Women’s Service (JBWS) offers a checklist of some dating red flags that both teens and parents should know about: • Your partner is possessive. • You can never be yourself around your partner without negative consequences. Kairys suggests teens create a code word they can use to text their parents if they’re in an uncomfortable or scary situation, like being at a party where people are drinking excessively, doing drugs or getting out of control.

According to NJ law, the age of legal consent is 16 compared to the national age of consent, which is 18.

The transition to dating can be emotional not only for her, but also for you.

“One of the most important things parents can convey to their kids is that they’re always going to be there for them,” he says.

No matter who your teen chooses to date, remember that romantic relationships are a healthy part of adolescence, Scott says.

“Conversations about dating should take place before kids start dating,” he says.

“Parents can discuss values and basic guidelines and can start by asking their son or daughter what they expect in a healthy relationship.” When Scott studied communication among parents and adolescents, she observed an interesting pattern: Parents may think they’re communicating clearly about a topic when in fact they aren’t.

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